Sunday, July 20, 2008 ?
I found people to session with. BP Crew. Alot of cool people, interesting ideas and pretty generous.
I'm at the point where I don't know how to improve. I'm dancing. I'm just not getting anywhere. How can you dance and not get anywhere? How is it possible to practice so much and still suck so much? I know somehow, there's some kind of taboo concerning the issue of comparing. But how can I not? I have to know how I measure up.. At the same time, ignorance is bliss. I wish I could like I was, cocky. Confident. But I can't.
I've got exams coming up in october. I kind of know for sure that I'm going to fail, because that's what I do. I give up. I give in. I fall short. Even though I know I'm the one responsible for my life, I don't take responsibility. That kind of makes me a hypocrite.
I feel I should be happier with what I have, but how can I be happy with what I have? I feel like I was made for more, but it hurts to know I'm not.
