Benjiman's Life.

12th June 2011

2011-06-12T20:58:00.000+08:00

Haven't been posting anything, because I haven't been doing anything.

I have been wallowing in misery, in a misery quite possibly created by myself. I need some help getting back up on my feet, and it seems that technology is the answer.

I've downloaded a few apps, most of which are intended to motivate and inspire. Essentially, motivational quotes in an app. There is one that I'm particularly interested in, and is completely different from the rest. It's called Mind Wave - Binaural White Noise. It claims to relieve stress, cure insomnia, help concentration, and dull depression. According to the description, the app plays sounds through the left and right channels at different frequencies, and these frequencies create a difference, which is then formed by the brain. I won't even pretend to understand what I just regurgitated, but I do hope it works. I'm in need of healing.

My birthday's coming up in a few days. I'm not excited. There doesn't seem to be anything worth looking forward to. The glass is half empty. God help me.

June 8th 2011

2011-06-08T23:52:00.000+08:00

Today was frustrating.

Seem to be doing everything wrong. I'm not keeping my hands up, my left leg is moving when I throw a cross, and I can't even punch straight. It's funny how something so seemingly simple is actually so hard in reality. I could tell that coach was getting less and less patient by the minute, but I'm sure he means well. Gave me some words of encouragement. He told me that some people take as long as half a year to learn how to walk; but these people who dedicate themselves to moving properly also grow into champions. If I get my footwork right, my punches will follow. Ups and downs, try and try again.

On a brighter note, my fitness seems to improving. Or, it could be that I'm learning how to pace myself. Finished the run, without stopping to walk. Perhaps I'm finally getting somewhere.

Hope tomorrow turns out better.

June 7th 2011

2011-06-08T00:31:00.000+08:00

Today was my first day back in camp, and everything is going as per normal in the office. Asyraaf sleeping, Joel & Clarence playing games on their iPhones and Phi is being Phi. Noticed changes in Ben James, and I would be lying if I said I was happy. It appears that he is really starting to embrace his other side and express his sexuality in ways that I find offensive.

Things aren't the same concerning other issues, though. Random bag checks are being conducted now. I have to report to the sixth floor every morning. But the one that really matters is that afternoon roll call has been done away with. Which, I'm sure, everyone is happy with.

When I found the time, I presented the MPAC core members with souvenirs, namely the upside down, right side up hat. They were happy with it, and I was happy to see them happy. Perhaps that is what motivates us to help others.

Went down for boxing straight after camp. Am humbled, truly. Did a 3 KM run, but it felt endless. Kept seeing people pass me in lane, and ended up being one of the last to finish. But it matters not. If I keep at it, things WILL change for the better. After that, did more intense training, which consisted of a circuit with five stations. Pushups, crunches, skipping, half-squats and two other exercises of which I do not know the name. My hands were shaking and my calves cramping after the exercises.

It seems that coach thought we were ready, because we started hitting the bags today. It was completely unexpected but at the same time very satisfying. I had the feeling that we were granted a whole lot of freedom, kinda like the transition from Recruit to Private. While working on the bags, Coach reminded me to keep my left leg stationary while doing crosses, in order to retain power in my punches. Must make a mental note of that.

Hazim and I also seem a lot more comfortable with each other than yesterday. He helped me a lot, spurred me on constantly during the jog. Doubtless, running alone would have been less motivating, and I'm thankful to have someone starting out with me. It's good to have someone to talk to, someone who can relate.

That's all for now. I hope I have enough energy to last the week, at the rate I'm going. But I'll try.

Boxing

2011-06-06T23:58:00.000+08:00

Wow. It has been ages since I last posted.

Perhaps the reason why I'm less than motivated to keep it updated is because no one reads it. If I'm not wrong, this blog is unlisted, and no one knows the address. But I'm keeping a diary separately, using my new Acme pen and some notebook I found off the shelves, and it does make a whole lot more sense to start blogging again. All it requires is transferring the material from the written word to digital.

I'm not sure why I've suddenly acquired a newfound interest for boxing. It might stem from my childhood. As a kid, I wanted to learn Wushu, but unsupportive parents dampened those feelings considerably. I went back to Shanghai for a short respite from National Service, and met up with Albert, a close friend. He'd picked up kickboxing overseas, which seemed to do wonders for his health. We went down to the local sports store, got two pairs of boxing gloves, a couple of mouthguards, and started sparring soon after. It is quite a bit of fun, and for the moment, quite possibly the only sport I'll pick up.

I reached Singapore last night, and as soon as I could get ahold of a computer, I did Googled "Singapore Boxing." Clicked on a few websites, and soon came to a website containing the information of Kadir Boxing School.

I was very much surprised from what I found.

Encik Muhklis is a warrant officer from my camp. I'd always heard about his boxing and how good he was from several people, but never paid very much attention. I assumed that they were exaggerating, since they usually followed up their comments with a wink and a smile. Apparently he taught at the school, which made me even more excited about checking it out.

As I was on the train, I thought about whether it was viable for me to go everyday. The school is quite a distance away from my camp, making it a long trip.

Met the coach. As cliche as it sounds, I expected him to be taller. Talked to him a little and had the feeling he was apprehensive about teaching me. His apprehension seemed to go away, after I showed him that I could follow instruction and was serious about learning. Sadly, Encik Muhklis never made it. I was hoping to talk to him a little.

The school doesn't have excellent facilities, and is outdoor. Lessons are cancelled if it happens to rain on the day. It's as good as it gets, though, seeing how cheap the prices are.

It's 11:51 PM as of writing, and I do need to go to bed. I might go to the place again tomorrow, see whether I can get there on time from camp.

That's all for now. Here's to hoping that I'll keep this blog updated like I said I would. And hoping that the boxing will go smoothly.

Untitled

2010-06-15T00:32:00.001+08:00

Fuck it.. I don't want to keep moving here and there. I don't want to get attached to a place and then have to break away. I don't want to develop relationships and not be able to progress any further than, "Hi, how are you."

I do want an identity. I do want to know where the fuck it is that I'm supposed to belong. I hate to say, but I do want to stay.

20 years old means I'm not a teenager anymore.

2010-06-14T23:47:00.001+08:00

Pretty uneventful birthday today, same as every year. Except it was probably worse.. since I didn't let myself pig out.

Got money as a present. Had breakfast. Had lunch. Had cake. Wished for something fucking unrealistic. Went and got myself a Zippo. Went to RP. Had dinner. Danced. Had fun, but it never lasts.

Yup.. pretty uneventful. My birthdays never really feel like anything special. Birthdays are supposed to be celebratory, but it never feels that way with me. When the day is over, the emoing ensues. But really, if I can't be happy, at least give me the freedom to be unhappy.

My studies are shit. I don't have the freedom to develop a liking for someone, because I can't give her a nice life. I have no aspirations that I would tell anyone about because they're unrealistic and people would just laugh out loud.

At least I still got dance. Although I'm still nowhere.. at least I have something to look forward to.

June 14 2011, please be a better day than today.

Mum's Birthday 09.

2009-12-03T23:19:00.002+08:00

Today has been a good day.

Studied a little until about 2 PM, until I decided I couldn't take it anymore and went with bro to the newly opened Uniqlo at Somerset station.

And, damn.

The queue was so damn long. I think we queued for AT LEAST an hour before getting to the cashier. That's probably the most conservative estimation. But the pants are pretty cheap, since there's an offer for a few days. I mean, 20 SGD for pants is pretty awesome. It's pretty good quality too. So I wasn't too surprised at how many people were there. But still.. it was damn long.

David claims a blog is pointless without pictures, so here. I don't know what you can gather out of these, but whatever.

After, we went for dinner with the family, since it's my mum's birthday. Some buffet steamboat place of which I cannot remember the name. There are a lot of different kinds of foods, so I think it's pretty worth it. I really let myself go today.. I'm scared to check the scales T____T

My damned smart idea to put the ketupat together with the raw stuff. Damned smart.

Went home, had cake.

Awesome cake. Chocolate cake.

Time passes so fast, it's hard to keep track.. I'm getting older and I'm only reminded when I see these candles on the cake.

I won't admit it, though.

Tiring Day.

2009-11-07T22:38:00.003+08:00

It's been one hell of a day.

Woke up at 6 to take an exam, which started at 9 and ended at around 2. Felt damn hungry, so I was heading down to Funan Center, but decided to stop by at Esplanade to see if anyone was there. Turns out there aren't very many bboys sessioning there nowadays, because there will be a new gen of bboys coming up soon. So Saad tells me.

Afterwards, I met with Saad at Somerset and we went to Mustafa. Goddamn, they have everything there. Seriously. I shall go there whenever I need something.

The two of us then head down to Scape, where there was an event to promote the opening of Funk Soul Studio. Or something. Can't quite remember. However, the point is, only today do I realize how well-connected Saad is. He literally knows everyone. Met a lot of his friends, most of which I don't remember the names. But they're good people, very friendly, and they treat you like they've known you for a long time.

Overall, I think it was a good day.

But damn I'm tired.

EDIT: Soul Theory Studios. Watch out for it.

Taiwan.

2009-03-28T19:04:00.007+08:00

Back from Taiwan and only got to write this recently. Here are a few of my observations:

Taiwan is kind of like Singapore, Malaysia, and Hong Kong mashed together. The city is pretty awesome. The countryside reminds me especially of Malaysia.

The people are extremely civilized. one example of this was when some people were blocking this poor cyclist's way. He made no indication of being in a hurry, and just waited patiently for the people to clear the path.

Everything tastes better in Taiwan. Food standards are high; 民以食为天. I would like to just comment a little sadly that I put on 1 KG in Taiwan. I mean, I don't get how come people aren't all fat there. Taiyang bing is the bombage. So are Taiwanese sausages.So are pineapple tarts. They're a little diff from the kind you can get in SG. There is this other thing called "mochi" or "mua ji" which seems to be a HUGE thing in Taiwan. There must be dozens of ways to prepare that stuff.

Dog culture is big in Taiwan. Everywhere you go, you can see people carrying their tiny toy dogs or walking their golden retrievers.

It was basically an all shopping trip.. except I didn't do any shopping. No Sexy Diamond :(

On the first day, we(tour group, family and I) went to downtown Taipei. If I'm not wrong it's probably the nicest place in Taiwan. I saw some resturant being overcrowded with people, and people waiting in line to get in. Except, there wasn't a line. So many people were waiting until it formed something more like a huge circle. Must have been good,but weren't gonna wait around to get in. Instead, we found a small place which must not have had more than four people eating. STILL.. it was the best ru rou fan(braised pork rice) I've ever eaten.

On the second day, we went to ceramic street. As the name implies, there were a lot of ceramics. Nothing really special worth mentioning. After that, we headed to a hilly place which was supposedly famous for their bean based products. Awesome stuff. Afterwards, we went to a Hakka resturant. First time I ever ate Hakka food. We were then given a tour of a small museum of a lot of vintage shit, most of them older than your grandmother. My bro found one of those styrofoam planes, you know the kind you put together? I remember buying those when I was younger. Went to some place they sold wooden duckies. You get to paint your own ducky for a price. Pretty boring, but whatever. We went back to the Hakka place and got a firsthand experience making "tea" that Hakka people drink/drunk. Some mixture that consisted of green tea, almonds, sesame seeds and sugar. Powerful stuff. There were some pastries too, but I dunno what they were called. We then set off for Sun Moon Lake, which was a two hr drive. We went to some deserted resturant for dinner, of which we were the only patrons. Only then did I realize how efficient Taiwanese are at preparing food. About five minutes after we stepped foot in the place, all the food was on the table.

On the third day, we went on a boat and went around Sun Moon Lake. There was this hill. Something of interest is the tea egg there. I've lived in Shanghai for almost 10 years now, and tea egg is an everyday thing here. But at the hill, there was this small shop that sold 3000 eggs a day. At 10 NT per egg, they make 30000 NT a day, which is 1200 SGD.. crazy. After that we went to an old street just right by the side of Sun Moon Lake. Really lively place. I had this deep-fried mochi, which was really damn good. Dinner was the main attraction, really. The food set before us was fit for a Chinese wedding dinner, only WAY WAY better.

On the fourth day, I sat at the bottom of a mountain with my grandmother. So, I couldn't say what it was like, but according to the people that DID go up, it's frigging tiring to climb. Got on the bus and headed to Taichung. I noticed something there which I'm not sure about. There are these small glass booths, where not very modestly dressed women sit. They can't be hookers, right? I mean, I don't think there's any country where women go around prostituting in broad daylight. Anyways. There is an enormous amount of graffiti in Taichung. We got some Taiyang bing, which originated in Taichung. Also bought some pineapple tarts. After, we had dinner at some really fancy seafood place with probably cost a shitload to eat at, but some woman I dunno was treating us. :S

On the fifth day, we headed back to Taipei. We went to a memorial hall dedicated to General Chiang Kai Shek, which looked more like a shrine. Really huge building. I watched the changing of the guard, and I thought to myself, "This is damn extra....." They marched around in sync and twirled their guns a lot just to change guard. We went to Taipei 101, "A multi-level shopping mall which ajoins the tower houses hundreds of fashionable stores, restaurants and clubs." I didn't know this until now, but Wikipedia says the name Taipei 101 is because the building is 101 stories high. I did something pretty stupid, which was to eat Sergeant Chicken Rice in Taiwan. It wasn't bad, but eating Singaporean food on a Taiwanese tour trip is just dumb.

On the sixth day, we went to 阳明山. Only got half an hour to enjoy the scenery, so that was BS. We came to a small resturant on the mountain and had lunch there. It was fully packed, on a weekday. On a mountain. The food is that good.

On the seventh day, which was the last day, we went down to the harbor. Lots of old streets around the area. I had a 250 ml bottle diet coke, which also happens to be the best diet coke I've ever had. We headed for the airport and made our goodbyes to Taiwan.

Locking Game!

2009-02-19T11:21:00.001+08:00

Dance 2 the Beat

Dance in time with the music to get the highest score possible.

Play this free game now!!

Check it out. Dance game, all locking moves. Dope. Dope. Dope.

Yes.... I'm bored..

Photoshop Is Amazing.

2009-02-14T22:12:00.002+08:00

Photoshop is amazing. Seriously.

It can make a 300 pound dude look like she lost 200 pounds.

Someone who has a shitload of acne can suddenly become a stunning beauty.

If only you could have photoshop in real life huh.

Something weird.

2009-01-31T19:24:00.003+08:00

If someone needs a lighter from you, you're suddenly their brother, even if you've never met them before.

Been playing Left 4 Dead quite a bit lately, it is pretty fun. Way way more intense than CS. And damn hard. Anyone else play L4D?

Botak Jones.

2009-01-23T09:31:00.003+08:00

Botak Botak
You suck

I've always wanted to write about Botak Jonesy, here is my verdict: I don't like it. Call me old-fashioned, call me a traditionalist, call me close-minded, whatever. I don't like what it's doing to the local coffee shops. I saw many other stalls closed down because of it, and it kind of makes me sad. When I go downstairs to the coffeeshop, no one's eating Chinese food. No one's eating chicken rice. No one's eating fish porridge.

The food by itself is pretty good, but it takes fucking long to get to you. It should be called "American slow-food." I waited an hour to get my food, and it wasn't like I ordered alot. I don't exactly remember the price, but I think it's also more pricey than other fast food joints.

If you wanna wait really long for your food in an area that's not air-conditioned and hot, by all means, Botak Jones is for you!

Living in SG.

2009-01-22T22:18:00.003+08:00

So I'm back in Singapore.

It's been kind of fun. Went to Far East and made a pair of zoot pants. They didn't have yellow, which was lame. But whatever! Tailor was cool and pretty nice. Hope it turns out ok. If it does, I'm recommending him to everyone. Got two bandanas, one of which I threw away after realizing it had written some kind of fucking buddhist curse. What the hell.. What a waste of money.

Afterwards went to RP and met up with F.O.F. I had this Japanese chicken cutlet thing for 3.50 which was pretty awesome. School food for the win.

As I'm writing this I kind of have a headache.. stupid Chinese fedora has mercury in it or something, what the hell.......................

Skin! OMGWTFLOL

2009-01-21T01:40:00.001+08:00

Blogspot.

I have conquered you.

Finally.

Fangirls.

2009-01-07T15:21:00.005+08:00

I was going across some youtube videos and decided to watch Elmo's video at Floor The Love again. And I'm reminded how biased they are.

I really hate fangirls. They cheer for all the wrong stuff. No disrespect to Elmo, but many of the powermoves done by him can be pulled off by many SG lockers. But do they cheer for our SG lockers? No. They are there to see Elmo.

Show some respect to the dance form. Don't waste floor space just so you get a chance to take a picture with Elmo afterwards.

If you're going to admire someone, do it because they have something worth admiring. Not because they're good-locking, and not because they've been on TV before.

Again, no disrespect to Elmo, but major disrespect for fangirls. I'll probably piss off a lot of people by saying what I said. But I'm still gonna.

Boiling Point..

2009-01-02T19:27:00.006+08:00

Today was the formal opening of BP.

Finally.

I was pretty hyped about it. BP is getting bigger and naturally they're gonna be earning more money, and that's always a good thing. Hopefully, they can expand even MORE.

Before the event, me, my bro and my friend went down to Songjiang to look for some hats and my bro got a pair of white Chucks. We had Bibimbop at some Korean resturant and it was the bomb diggity shit.

So anyways, we finally got to the place. Since the event was held in one studio, the place was pretty packed. Everyone sat against the walls and formed a circle. The teachers did their solos, and I was having a pretty good time, just basking in the atmosphere.

Then Radish suddenly announces it's my turn to do a solo. I was just WTFing at that moment.

I mean, he didn't tell me beforehand or anything, and I'm not even a teacher. But I didn't wanna be a bad sport, so I had to. It REALLY wasn't like what I expected. I thought I'd blank out again, like that time in the circle at a LCL session, but I didn't. I WAS nervous, yeah, but I had control over the shit I was doing. Even though I didn't appreciate it at that moment, I have to thank Radish for giving me the opportunity.

After that there was a non-official battle, which, again, I had to take part in because Radish is random. The judging system is pretty lame(because it's a non-official battle). It was based on how many people liked you, which is pretty stupid, cause if you know what the crowd likes, you win. But Radish was pretty diplomatic about it and called it all a draw. I'm still not happy with the crowd response I got though, I'll have to work on it.

Last thing to write about today. I have new found respect for punking. It is MAD hard. Way way way harder than it looks. I left the classroom in the middle of the class because I was making myself look like a total idiot. -_________________________-

Bye.

2008-12-10T23:03:00.004+08:00

Bye Singapore. Bye fried noodles. Bye mee pok. Bye lotus pau. Bye red bean pau. By chicken rice. Bye convenient transport. Bye convenient stores. Bye 7-11. Bye awesome cybercafes with air-con. Bye Clementi. Bye dancers. Bye Esplanade. Bye everything.

January!

RP and Me.

2008-12-04T22:58:00.004+08:00

Today was pretty eventful compared to going to Esplanade with certain people. -______-

When I was at home I was actually undecided about going, with the rain and what not. Turns out it's a good thing I did. I love the atmosphere there. It's like Esplanade but with lockers. And air con. And nicer flooring.. you get my point. It's actually a much more comfortable place to dance.

Full Of Funk crew is fresh yo. People should be on the lookout. Aloysius, Darren, Matthew, and Daniel..and whoever I missed out. They are dope dancers and dope people. Thanks guys. It was good dancing together.

"In the mood for dance"

2008-11-28T22:04:00.003+08:00

Is just an excuse to be lazy. An excuse NOT to dance. Isn't it.

If we dance only when we feel like it, will we ever make any progress?

What if you're never in "the mood"? What happens then? Do we wait forever for the mood to come, THEN we practice?

Please come up with better excuses or be honest with yourself.

At the same time, people like to say "practice smart, not hard." But what happens when you meet someone who does both?

This concludes my daily rant.

Concerning handshakes.

2008-11-03T23:10:00.003+08:00

I don't understand handshakes sometimes.

Some people feel the need to do a complex handshake by putting out their pinky or some other sort of strange ritual. Why do they do this? Is it the need to assert themselves as cool people or are these handshakes some sort of secret I've never been let in on? Is it some game that people play to make others feel uncomfortable? I have been caught in these awkward situations several times and it's not cool. The handshaking process takes 10 seconds.

A lot of the time you can tell how people feel about you by seeing how they shake your hand. If you're shaking someone's hand and that hand happens to be limp, cold, without any grip whatsoever and seemingly attached to a dead person's body, you know what they think of you. They think you're an asshole. But then, why would they bother in the first place?

If you're going to shake hands like a complete pussy, I'd rather not shake hands with you at all.

Graffiti.

2008-10-14T09:54:00.004+08:00

I feel I can't support the graff on a whole.

Don't get me wrong. I dig it. It's fresh to death. It's artistic and it is a form of expression.

But bombing everywhere or anywhere is not the way to go, especially in a place like SG. If done in excess and without control it looks messy, and lousy pieces by inexperienced writers doesn't bring out the best of it.

Instead.. why don't we have some designated bombing areas. It's a legal alternative to show what graff is and not "vandalizing" public property at the same time.

Goals in locking written on 12 Sep 08

2008-09-12T11:25:00.003+08:00

- Have bigger movements/move body more on each move(more dynamic looking)
- Get a smooth get up from half-split
- Get applejacks
- Move around more
- Develop own character
- Develop own style
- Groove

Lying.

2008-09-04T09:45:00.002+08:00

Why do people lie? Why do we feel the need to cover up what we do?

People lie so they don't hurt others. So they won't hurt themselves. So they don't inflict pain. So pain is not inflicted on them.

How is that a bad thing?

Worst Probable Progression As a "Dancer."

2008-08-14T13:27:00.004+08:00

This is to all those who say they like "dance." Stop making a complete fool of yourself. Stop pretending. Stop insulting every dance form you come into contact with. Stop being posers and start showing some respect.

Please don't learn a dance for the sake of showing off. Who still does that nowadays? Pick up chicks? I'm pretty sure they won't dig you just because you can dance, unless they're really shallow, much less someone who can't dance in the first place.

Learn one style, stick with it, fall in love with it, and I will respect you. Learn multiple styles, stick with it, fall in love with it, and I will respect you. Learn a style, change, change, change, change, and don't do any styles in the end, I will hate on you.

Bboy>Popping>Locking>Hiphop>C-Walk>Shuffling>?? Para para?? = Fail

China's Lack of Talent.

2008-07-22T18:11:00.002+08:00

China has no talent. No, seriously. How come a country with a population that exceeds one billion can continually spew out talentless artists? No, seriously.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_wl781prLA&feature=related

Look at her. There was a popular talent show not too long ago, but it was banned by the chinese government. Anyways. Out of a population of one billion people, the people chose her. A woman who looks like a man. She can't dance; she can't sing. But the people chose her. Maybe sometimes democracy can be flawed.

It might not be that there aren't any people who are talented. Could be they don't know what talent is in the first place.

Recent Things and Thoughts in July.

2008-07-20T19:29:00.005+08:00

I found people to session with. BP Crew. Alot of cool people, interesting ideas and pretty generous.

I'm at the point where I don't know how to improve. I'm dancing. I'm just not getting anywhere. How can you dance and not get anywhere? How is it possible to practice so much and still suck so much? I know somehow, there's some kind of taboo concerning the issue of comparing. But how can I not? I have to know how I measure up.. At the same time, ignorance is bliss. I wish I could like I was, cocky. Confident. But I can't.

I've got exams coming up in october. I kind of know for sure that I'm going to fail, because that's what I do. I give up. I give in. I fall short. Even though I know I'm the one responsible for my life, I don't take responsibility. That kind of makes me a hypocrite.

I feel I should be happier with what I have, but how can I be happy with what I have? I feel like I was made for more, but it hurts to know I'm not.

Happiness

2008-07-20T19:26:00.002+08:00

How does one find happiness?

Show me the road.

2008-07-09T10:16:00.000+08:00

Can you speak gangsta? Your Result: You are a straight up GANGSTER you should move to Compton if you don't live there already. from the start you knew you where going to pass this test without any problems, this is probably the first test in your whole life that you have gotten a 100% on. good job, now go brag to your baby's mama.
You know a thing or two..
Welcome to suburbia!
Gee wilikers! you are white!
Well at least your not completely incompetent.
You are retarded.
Can you speak gangsta? Create MySpace Quizzes

LCL

2008-06-30T22:42:00.002+08:00

WOW!

This is the best thing I've done so far in Singapore. It's nice to see people get together, that there's a community. Helping each other. Alot of hot people, loved it. It's all love and respect.

Hopefully, this doesn't end!

GOGOGO

Tomorrow

2008-06-10T22:20:00.003+08:00

I'm on a treadmill. I'm going nowhere.
It's me. It's myself. Forever. It seems pointless.
I know what I'm missing; but nothing will change.
Tomorrow everything is still the same.

There are better days.. They like to lie.
There are better moments. So they claim.
Maybe they're right and I don't know.
But tomorrow everything is still the same.

WOW.

2008-06-09T21:34:00.001+08:00

Are the people on SYTYCD so seriously deluded? Or trying to be funny?

Parents.

2008-05-21T21:41:00.004+08:00

I don't really understand my parents; nor will i attempt to.

I dislike when they think that it's okay for everyone else to be lazy. Or rude. Or mean. Or whatever.

But their own children have to be special; we have to be hard on ourselves. Set an example for others.

But why do I have to be "above them"? Why do I have to be "perfect"? They accept others the way they are. Why can't it be the same way for me.

Maybe I have to be special.. I just don't FEEL special.

When we were young.

2008-04-22T09:59:00.002+08:00

Here's something I remembered that I found was interesting.

I was in primary school. I tapped a girl on the shoulder, and my friends all laughed at me for it. It seemed that girls were the plague and we had to stay away from them as far as possible.

Now, they're trying to get as close as they can to girls, and they're not getting any.

Pretty ironic.

China is weird.

2008-04-15T08:42:00.002+08:00

This is my daily rant for the day. It is to complain about the stupidity of the situation of where I am.

I can log onto blogger and post my blog entries. But I can't GO onto the actual blogspot account. How retarded is that? I mean, what's the point then?

Right now, all blogspot sites are blocked. This is what happens when you live in a third-world country.

iOwn.

2008-04-09T09:26:00.003+08:00

Recently, I've been seeing alot of new products on the market. The names of the products are oh-so predictable, reused, overdone. iSlim. iSqueeze. iPhone. iPod. Where did the creativity go?

Based on previous examples, these might be some names for upcoming products.
If I was marketing director for a next gen game console, what would I call it? iGameconsole.
If I was trying to advertise a new drink, what would it be called? iDrink.
Perfume? iSmell.
Vaccum cleaner? iSuck.

It seems that companies think when you put an "i" in front of the name, it guarantees you good sales.

Wow.

iDunnowhattothinkanymore.

Tired. And counting calories.

2008-02-21T20:06:00.002+08:00

Was kind of busy yesterday. What I mean is I've got exams soon and I don't know if I'll have the time. I don't wanna give it up...

Been counting calories, it actually is a little bit of fun. Didn't know it was this simple. I'm hella tired right now because of eating so much less than usual but what the heck.

Locking.

2008-02-20T09:32:00.000+08:00

Don't know if I should quit.

Shanghai.

2008-02-15T09:48:00.002+08:00

What I hate about Shanghai:

Basically....... everything.

I wish I had never gone to Shanghai. Plus they have no Esplanade. The people are low. Cheap. Probably only get into friendships with people they can use. When you live in a third world country, what do you expect.

I don't wanna go back...

Valentine's Day.

2008-02-14T22:14:00.003+08:00

Valentine's day passed pretty uneventfully for me.

Me and bros went to Jurong East theatre to watch Jumper. It was a pretty cool show. Kind of changed how I had viewed comic book characters who "jump." Turns out jumping is a pretty cool power when you can jump in and out of banks. Go watch this..

Had nothing else to do...... so decided to watch Kung Fu Dunk. Turns out its kind of a rubbish film. There's some special effects and parts of the film stand out, but it looks like Jay's looking too much for publicity in the movie. Nothing especially interesting.

Locking in Singapore.

2008-02-10T21:16:00.000+08:00

Locking is going to be big in Singapore! I can feel it. I just met 2 other lockers yesterday, Sha and... hm. Locking sessions are NEVER boring. Anyways, yeah, who knows how many other lockers there are out there?

There are more and more lockers now thanks to Ian and Ken and other lockers. I think one of the main reasons is that people don't find locking to be "cool." Or "clown dance." When you see people dressing funny and pointing at things how can you take it seriously?

It doesn't have to always be that way though. Things are changing. I feel many lockers have already made it an artform. I think locking just has to be revamped a little.

OK. Decided to rant a little bit. Yes. I need to complain a little.

Today I got my ass handed to me by a girl in locking class. Well. Kind of. I can't keep up with the routines. And she can. Well. Better than me.

She is kind of cute though. Dayum. Makes me wish I was staying in Singapore longer. Aiyo...

Contentment.

2008-02-07T22:24:00.000+08:00

Why are people never content with the things they have? I'll never understand.

You wanna be like me, I want to be like him, he wants to be like you...

It's a never-ending circle of unhappiness. When we learn to take the things that life throws at you, that's when we can truly be happy. When we finally understand that some things cannot be changed and accept it, that's when we will finally be happy.

Let it snow, yo...

2008-01-29T09:50:00.000+08:00

It's crazy here yo. It's snowing and covering everything. How cool is that?

I know it doesn't sound like much, but here in Shanghai, it's rare.

Anyways, here is the pictures.

Paintballing.

2008-01-10T11:10:00.000+08:00

Yesterday my friend Albert told me he was going to try paintball. Never tried it before, so I was interested.

The odds were all against me.

I sent him three messages and he didn't reply. Called him, and suddenly found his phone had no more money. I called his sister's phone and he picked up. Told me to go to the clubhouse.

We met with his friends, E.T, Leo, 河马 and Justin I think. We spent about an hour trying to get a cab. A taxi the security guards managed to flag was willing to wait for awhile but after, drove off without a word. Lo 人...

All six of us went out to the crossroads and tried to flag another two taxis. Saw one, and I put out my hand. He stopped, and I was feeling very proud of myself until I walked forward some more. I was two seconds slower than the person in front of me. I couldn't help and let out a barrage of words that you probably won't want to hear. But it involves a teacher.

Saw another one with the empty light on. We all started waving to it and the light went off. Ridiculous.

Well, somehow we all managed to get to the place. It's at night, by the way. And outdoor. Walking to that place was like walking through some place in a game like House of the Dead or something. There was a long pathway which was almost totally dark. Someone said "Is this the way to hell"? Creepy..

The place we were brought to to change clothes was like a military bunker. Then there was the locker room. If you could call it that. They had a lock, but the lockers looked like places where you keep dogs.

I got my gun, my mask, and walked in, still feeling pretty excited about the whole thing. Until I got shot in the butt. It hurts like hell. I thought I would try and shoot someone but paintballs kept flying around me. I was hiding behind a barrel and kept hearing the sound of my barrel being hit.

Night + glasses + mask + fog = total blindness. That was not good at all. Not only could I not see anyone, friendly fire was totally possible. So I decided to go into my bunker. Found 河马 who was just like me and couldn't see anything. In the midst of the warfare, and bullets flying around, I asked him "Are you hungry"? We started talking a lot about nothing. Thinking about it, it was pretty damn funny.

After we came out, the workers found that we still had a load of bullets left. They told us to shoot the wall. It was a pretty loser thing to do, but it was fun anyway.

Our team's fatalities
Six shots in the head
One shot in the arm
One shot in the back
One shot in the leg
One shot in the butt

Their team's fatalities
Zero...

My arm is swelling up. All in all it was a cool experience though. Not that I'd be willing to do it in the distant future. It was fun to be around those guys.

Pictures coming soon.

Recent Events.

2008-01-02T22:20:00.000+08:00

2008 is here.

Why am I not excited? Maybe because I don't want to face the present. I want to live in the past, when I was a kid, when I didn't have to think about things. When everything was simple.

2008. I have to think about my education, what I'm doing with my life and what I'll be doing with my life in the future.

I've always known this, but I never want to admit it. I'm going nowhere fast. I always make these resolutions to change the way I live, but things never work out. When things get tough, I run. I give up. And that's not the way it should be. But that's the way it is.

People are changing. My friends are changing. I'm not sure what is going on, and I'm not sure I
want to know.

I have been very lazy at locking recently. Keep telling myself that I'm not improving fast enough but my body's not doing anything.

Don't know where I'm going. But I'll keep going.

Of all the ungrateful...

2007-12-29T23:41:00.000+08:00

I know this guy who I've been teaching. He's not the most talented/gifted person I know. Which is basically a euphemistic way of saying, he sucks.

I thought of giving up on him. Tell him that I don't want to teach him no more. So I tried. But again, he's not the smartest guy in the world. One day, I asked him if he wanted to try something new. He told me, "No, I'm going to stick with this." I thought to myself, how can I quit of him? He's so committed.

What in the hell was I thinking?

Dude says he has a competition. So I'm thinking, we have to make use of every opportunity to practice. One day, I wasn't free so we changed the session to Sunday. I sent him a message, asking him to come practice. Somehow he changed his mind and he told me 2 hours wasn't enough. Sure it wasn't enough, because every time we start practicing he wants to do something else like play pool or ping-pong or something.

Now take that scenario and multiply it by 10. That's how many times I got stood up because he changed his mind or some bullshit like that.

Just today, I sent him a message. Asked him to come practice tomorrow. He says no, he's staying up the whole night so he has to sleep the whole day tomorrow.

Of all the ungrateful bastards I know, this dude is the worst.

I take my time and energy and patience to teach him. But every time, seems like he has something more important to do. And he has the nerve to criticize others, saying how they're such posers. But he ain't much better.

I tell him he's not going to get good enough in time for the competition, but he keeps telling me to relax. Shit, why would I be nervous? I just don't want the dude to embarrass himself. But somehow he doesn't see it that way. From what I know, he thinks he's all that.

I'm going to try and end this once and for all, but I don't know how.

Life.

2007-12-28T00:59:00.000+08:00

So yeah, I'm writing my blog again. Felt like I should. It's 1 AM now.

It's hard to explain the way I feel. My friends around me are slowly becoming strangers. I don't want it to be this way, but I can't change anything. What transpires or does not cannot be determined by me.

I can only pray, but how do I know anyone is listening?

Home.

2007-12-14T04:15:00.001+08:00

I know they say home is where your heart is, but Singapore will always be home to me.

I miss how the people talk there.

I miss the way people are there.

I miss having people who have things in common with me.

I miss not having to have to be on guard all the time.

I miss the food.

I miss the nightlife.

I miss Singapore.

Love? Hells no.

2007-12-14T02:28:00.000+08:00

This is the post I somehow managed to salvage. Here it is now.

Damn, I feel I haven't writen anything for a long time, and I was thinking about this, so...

Dr Love is in da house!

I hate it when guys have emotional problems, saying that they love a girl even though they know so little about them.I hate to break it to you, dudes, but that's not love. It's infatuation.I mean, how can you love a girl when you don't know everything about them? Love is the ability to accept anything and everything, what they do, their good habits, their bad habits. There's the good things: the way they smile, the fragrance of their hair, the way they comfort you. Then there's the bad things. The way they leave everything lying all around, when they don't laugh at your jokes, the way they pick on you for something you thought was insignificant.

Some people only have this stunning revelation later on in their life. They can't stand their partner and they took 10 years to find out. Then they get divorced.

What I'm trying to say is, love at first sight is a crock. You think you love someone, but then you find out it was just a physical attraction.

When you can put up with their temper, when you can listen to the things she says instead of just nodding without really listening. That's love.

Rollercoasters.

2007-12-14T02:18:00.000+08:00

Recently I have been thinking back to a time about a year ago.

Me and my family took a vacation and went to Hong Kong. Since my father was there on business and everyone's families were bringing their kids there, Disneyland was one of the places we decided to visit.

I had a perception of what Disneyland would be like before I even got there. I was thinking Six Flags. Sadly, I quickly discovered that the average age of Disneyland Goers are about 8. Okay, no matter. There must be something I could do.

Again, I was wrong. No suprise there. The most fun I had was eating the roast duck. However there was actually one ride that I could go on without falling asleep. Space Mountain.

So me and my brothers decided to try it out. First time I ever saw an indoor rollercoaster, I must admit it intriqued me to some degree. Since there was nothing else better to do, I went on it about 20 times.

Getting back to my hotel, my stomach started acting up. I was lying on the bed but couldn't get to sleep. Must be the food, I figured. Took some Chinese pills in the hopes that it would go away.

No such luck.

I was suffering from delayed motion sickness. Ended up throwing up about 3 times.

Life.. is like a rollercoaster.

Recently I've been feeling happy and depressed, feeling great, and then discouraged. Sometimes I wonder.

Why do I even try?

At the risk of being extremely corny. This is my story.

2007-12-14T02:02:00.000+08:00

What up readers. It's your boy Ben here at China.

I have decided to finally start blogging on a real website. This decision occured because facebook is stupid. Where did all my notes go? I'm going to sue you for this someday like that idiot woman who sued McDonalds. Suprisingly, Blogger.com works. I love you, Blogger.com. Somehow, I managed to salvage one of my notes. I will put that up after I type this.

This blog is going to be where I keep all my complaints, because I have nothing else to talk about.

It is currently 2:05 AM here. Can't sleep because of all that coffee. Have to attend some talk thing tomorrow from 8:30 in the morning until like 6:30. Saturday too.

Now you know how much my life sucks.